The Texas Deer Hunt

1:00 am Alarm clock rings.
2:00 am Hunting partners arrive, drag ou out of bed.
2:30 am Throw everything except the kitchen sink into
the pickup.
3:00 am Leave for the Hill Country.
3:15 am Drive back home and pick up gun.
3:30 am Drive like hell to get to the lease before
daylight.
4:00 am Set up camp - forgot the damn tent.
4:30 am Head into the woods.
6:05 am See eight Deer.
6:06 am Take aim and squeeze trigger.
6:07 am "Click"
6:08 am Load gun while watching Deer go over hill.
8:00 am Head back to camp.
9:00 am Still looking for camp.
11:00 am Realize you don't know where camp is.
Noon Fire gun for help - eat wild berries.
1:15 pm Ran out of bullets - Eight Deer come back.
2:20 pm Strange feeling in stomach.
2:30 pm realize you ate poison berries.
2:45 pm RESCUED
2:55 pm Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped.
4:00 pm Arrive back at camp.
4:15 pm Leave camp to kill deer.
4:30 pm Return to camp for bullets, see partners deer.
4:45 pm Load gun - leave camp again.
5:00pm Empty gun on squirrel that's bugging you.
6:00 pm Arrive at camp, see Deer grazing at camp.
6:01 pm Load gun.
6:02 pm Fire gun.
6:03 pm One dead pickup truck.
6:05 pm Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer.
6:06 pm Repress strong desire to shoot hunting
partner.
6:07 pm Fall into fire.
6:10 pm Change clothes, throw burned ones into fire.
6:15 pm Take pickup, leave partner and his Deer in the
woods.
6:25 pm Pickup boils over - Hols shot in the block.
6:26 pm Start walking.
6:30 pm Stumble and fall - drop gun in the mud.
6:35 pm Meet "Wild boar".
6:36 pm Take aim.
6:37 pm Fire gun, Blow up barrel, plugged with mud.
6:38 pm Shit pants.
6:39 pm Climb tree.
9:00 pm Wild Boar, departs, wrap %@#!!%* gun around
tree.
Midnight HOME AT LAST!

Sunday Watch football game on TV, slowly tearing
liscense into little pieces. Place in envelope and
mail to Game Department with very clear instructions
where to place it.