I mailed the manuscript for my sixth book to my editor today. Feels great to be done. But I'm not really done. My editor will likely have helpful suggestions, revisions, comments, etc. My agent might, too. Only when I turn in the next draft will I feel like celebrating.

Meanwhile, I'm preparing myself for my Gun Shy tour in May and into June. I'm not big on traveling. In fact, I'm somewhat of a hermit. I prefer to drive, because flying can be such a complex process nowadays. But no matter where I go or how I get there, I'm generally ready to go home after about three days. Which is why most of my signings revolve around long weekends this time.

At this point, I'm kind of brain-dead, and I can't think of any good blog posts, so if you have any questions, email me. There's a link on my web site. Help reinvigorate me!

Last weekend, I had the pleasure of speaking to the Mountains & Plains Independent Booksellers Association, at their annual conference. They even served me lunch. Good bunch of folks. Support your independent bookstore! Check them out at http://www.mountainsplains.com/.

Next week, I’ll be joining the Texas Library Association at their annual conference, held this year at the Menger Hotel in San Antonio. They’ve come up with a unique concept--“speed dating” with mystery authors. There are about a dozen authors attending, and every few minutes we get up and move to a different table.

After that, no other events until May 12, which will be the beginning of promotion for Gun Shy.

I noticed that Oprah chose Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road” for her next book club selection. Brave of her to go out on a limb like that.

Remember that short story I mentioned a few months ago? Ellery Queen gave me the thank-but-no-thanks. Actually, the editor sent a nice note, but what I wanted was a contract. So I’ve sent it to Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine. After that, well, I’m not sure if there’s anyplace left to send it. It’s the first short story I’ve ever written (not counting crap in college) so I guess I can’t expect much luck with it. Maybe it’ll find a place in an anthology someday.

Have you seen those new taller paperbacks? Taller price, too. I’m not sure what the thinking behind those is. Just repackaging, I guess, with the hopes of creating a buzz.

Anybody read any good books lately? If so, tell me about it. I’m mostly caught up on my favorite authors and need to find some fresh blood. I tried to read Even Cowgirls Get The Blues a while back. Didn’t work for me.

My website will have a new look soon. I’ll let you know.

And I’ll close with an un-PC joke from Red O’Brien....

Two terrorists managed to sneak into America. They were sitting at a coffee shop, and one of them began speaking his native language. The other one hushed him and said, “Don’t blow our cover. We need to blend in. Speak Spanish.”

I’m putting the finishing touches on my sixth Blanco County book, Holy Moly, which involves a televangelist. I did a fair amount of research (via the Net), including refreshing my memory on the fiascos involving Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker, and several others.

There’s only one way to say this: Men like Swaggart and Bakker make me puke. In my opinion, they are nothing but con men. They’d have you believe that they are Christians who made mistakes, but I don’t buy any of it. I think they were (and still are) nothing but sleazeball rip-off artists.

Speaking of which, I went to the Benny Hinn website and signed up to receive his mailings (I needed the materials for the book, plus it’s always worth a good laugh when these melodramatic pleas for money arrive). I used a fake name, because, well, why not lie to a scum like that? Anyway, I thought it would be interesting to see what other mail arrived addressed to the fake name I gave.

Got one today, and the envelope informed me that “a box of blessings is reserved for you!”

How exciting for me!

Inside was a solicitation, of course--from the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews. They are asking me for money to feed, clothe, shelter, etc., elderly Jews in the former Soviet Union....

“Imagine being elderly, crippled, and alone--living out your final years in the frigid former Soviet Union in a small, dilapidated home with no heating. Sadly, this is Solomon’s situation as he tries to stretch his paltry pension of just $15 a month...”

Not that there’s anything wrong with giving your money to elderly Soviet Jews, if that’s what you choose to do, but I’m mistrustful of anything that came my way via Benny Hinn. (There is no mention of Hinn in the materials, but there’s no other way to explain how this organization got my “name”.)

So I logged on to Charity Navigator, just to see what they had to say about the IFCJ. Turned out, they give them three out of four stars, which ain’t bad.

But here’s my nitpick: The head honcho at IFCJ, a guy named Rabbi Yechiel Eckstein, gets paid $358,000 a year. That’s nearly 2,000 times as much as poor old Solomon’s annual income.

Come on, Rabbi, share the wealth! In fact, maybe YOU should be sending money to ME, instead of the other way around.

In my last post, I spoke about bad ideas for publicity.

This idiot came up with his own...(article from Publishers Weekly.....)

 
Mystery Bookstores Solve Scam
by Kevin Howell

When the owner of the Seattle Mystery Bookshop was recently scammed by a vanity publishing house, he set out to solve the fraud himself.

J.B. Dickey recently took a phone order for The Shortcut: 20 Stories to Get You from Here to There (Author Identity Press, $17.95 978-14243-2797-3 ). He took the customer's name and credit card information before placing an order through Ingram. Both turned out to be phony—something Dickey didn't find out until after the two non-returnable copies arrived.

"Our normal procedure is that we feel a credit card is a failsafe," said Dickey. "We don't charge the sale until it's ready to send out. Except this time we found out all the information we were given was fraudulent."

Dickey swallowed the feeling of being duped and launched a warning on the Independent Mystery Booksellers Association listserv, saying, "I hate like hell committing my buffoonery to the world-at-large, but if it stops someone else from making my mistake, good. If it can expose the mean-spirited jackasses behind this scam, all the better."

The posting got some comments from other booksellers in several different states who'd gotten stuck with the same book. In fact, the customer ordering the book had used the same fake name, Michael Evers.

Evers, it turns out, is the name of the main character in a suspense novel called The Palace of Wisdom: A Rock and Roll Fable by Kevin A. Fabiano, printed by another on-demand publisher, PublishAmerica. Fabiano, whose Web site says he's a New York lawyer, is also one of the contributing authors to The Shortcut.

Back in November 2006, Victoria Strauss investigated complaints about Author Identity Press on her Writer Beware blog. She devoted an entire entry on November 20, 2006, questioning the vanity press's credibility and attempted to track down just who was behind this vanity press, whose own Web site offers writers no names and no way to reach the potential publisher other than via e-mail.

"I hope this warning reaches other bookstores," said Dickey. "Anyone being contacted about ordering this book should *69 the call to get their real phone number and let them know we're onto them."

I always get a little anxious in the weeks preceding the release of a new book. I start thinking about publicity; am I doing everything possible to make the book a success?

Book tour? Check.

Copies submitted to reviewers? Check.

Revised web site? Coming soon.

Postcards? Check.

Etc. etc.

Of course, these things are nothing new. I’ve done all of them for the previous books. Like other authors, I’m always trying to think of some fresh marketing tactic or PR angle to give me a boost.

Unfortunately, I haven’t had any epiphanies.

However....

I have come up with several extremely bad ways by which an author could gain a bunch of publicity for his or her new book.

1. Break into Oprah’s house and leave a copy on her nightstand.

2. Arrive at Book Expo America naked.

3. Approach the White House wearing a ski mask. Act suspicious. Toss a copy of the book over the fence, then run away.

4. Put a picture of Anna Nicole on the cover.

5. Get a blurb from O.J.

6. Dedicate it to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

7. Go into rehab. Give up on it. Shave your head. Go into rehab again.

8. Give co-authoring credit to James Frey.

9. Call it Larry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Half-Blood Prisoner.

10. Tout it as the first book without verbs.