A quick note: Check out my revised website at www.benrehder.com. It has a new look and some new content, including an excerpt from Gun Shy, coming in May. Feel free to tell your friends, your family, your co-workers, even strangers on the street, about the book. It's good to get behind a cause, y'know? You'll be a better person for it.

Now today’s topic...

I attended a fun event at the Texas Library Association annual convention last night at the Menger Hotel in San Antonio. It’s right down near the Alamo, which I hadn’t seen in several years. Remember that place? Never could figure out why they built it downtown. I looked for Pee Wee’s bike in the basement but couldn’t find it.

The concept for the event was “Speed Dating with Mystery Authors,” which means there were more than a dozen authors, and we moved from table to table during dinner and chatted with members of TLA. I’d never done an event quite like that, and I thought it turned out very well. Got to meet a lot of interesting ladies (I’m not being sexist; there wasn’t a single man at any of the five tables I visited) and tell them about Gun Shy. They’re a fun group, which is exactly what I expected. I started to lose my voice at the end because I had to speak so loudly over the general hubbub. That’s a good thing, not a bad thing. Lots of enthusiastic, book-loving people.

My mom lives in San Antonio, so I’ve spent a lot of time down there. I used to sort of dislike the town--mostly because there are a bunch of confusing streets down there and it’s easy to get lost. Or maybe it’s just me. That’s entirely possible. But SA has grown on me over the years, and I like it quite a bit now.

On the way down there in my imaginary limousine, I listened to a radio talk show in which they were discussing the Don Imus fiasco. Is that guy a pinhead or what? But the radio host was comparing Imus’s remarks with some of the “offensive” material on the show The Office. Not a valid comparison. The material on The Office satirizes offensive opinions, whereas Imus’s remarks were the real deal. Granted, though, there are some people who can’t tell the difference.

On the way back up, I caught some show where the host and the guest were talking seriously about people who have been abducted by aliens. The guest was some sort of doctor who hypnotizes the abductees in order to draw out the memories of their time with little green men. Amazing what you can hear on A.M. radio.

That’s all for now. Have a good weekend.

Andy wrote and asked me the following question: “Why doesn’t John Marlin carry a cell phone?”

Well, the short answer is...because I don’t carry one either. If I gave Marlin one, I figured I’d end up making a mistake with regards to how they work. I know that makes me sound like an idiot, but that's the truth. I can't even access voicemail on my wife's phone.

In each book, I’ve thought about giving Marlin a phone, but I just don’t want to deal with it. What kind of phone? What features would it have? What brand? Voicemail? Call forwarding? Caller I.D.? That’s a lot of stuff to keep track of. I guess I could just make it a generic cellphone, but there are times, for plot reason, when Marlin needs to be out of reach. Then I'd have to get into poor coverage, or make his battery dead, or say he forgot it at home, and that starts to sound a little cliched.

Here’s another reason: There’s one game warden who is my chief resource for questions, and he carries a cell phone. But I reach him on it about one out of ten tries. His voicemail greeting says you can leave a message--if you want him to call back in several weeks. In other words, it doesn’t seem to play a key role in his day-to-day duties as a warden. So it’s not far from reality to keep Marlin phone-less.

Coincidentally, I’ve been doing some online research to upgrade my wife’s phone and calling plan. Man, what a complicated mess that is. Sure, getting a basic calling plan is easy, but when you try to add e-mail or Web surfing, then you really have to dig for answers. The provider she currently has offers a pretty good price on adding e-mail/Web, but they don’t put it right up front where it’s easy to find. You have to search for it. Meanwhile, they have other Web plans--much more expensive--that are very easy to find. So you’re inclined to think that’s the best deal they offer. Kind of deceptive.

Anyway, who knows, maybe ones of these days Marlin will be carrying a Blackberry with Bluetooth technology and all the other bells and whistles. But probably not anytime soon.

I mailed the manuscript for my sixth book to my editor today. Feels great to be done. But I'm not really done. My editor will likely have helpful suggestions, revisions, comments, etc. My agent might, too. Only when I turn in the next draft will I feel like celebrating.

Meanwhile, I'm preparing myself for my Gun Shy tour in May and into June. I'm not big on traveling. In fact, I'm somewhat of a hermit. I prefer to drive, because flying can be such a complex process nowadays. But no matter where I go or how I get there, I'm generally ready to go home after about three days. Which is why most of my signings revolve around long weekends this time.

At this point, I'm kind of brain-dead, and I can't think of any good blog posts, so if you have any questions, email me. There's a link on my web site. Help reinvigorate me!

Last weekend, I had the pleasure of speaking to the Mountains & Plains Independent Booksellers Association, at their annual conference. They even served me lunch. Good bunch of folks. Support your independent bookstore! Check them out at http://www.mountainsplains.com/.

Next week, I’ll be joining the Texas Library Association at their annual conference, held this year at the Menger Hotel in San Antonio. They’ve come up with a unique concept--“speed dating” with mystery authors. There are about a dozen authors attending, and every few minutes we get up and move to a different table.

After that, no other events until May 12, which will be the beginning of promotion for Gun Shy.

I noticed that Oprah chose Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road” for her next book club selection. Brave of her to go out on a limb like that.

Remember that short story I mentioned a few months ago? Ellery Queen gave me the thank-but-no-thanks. Actually, the editor sent a nice note, but what I wanted was a contract. So I’ve sent it to Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine. After that, well, I’m not sure if there’s anyplace left to send it. It’s the first short story I’ve ever written (not counting crap in college) so I guess I can’t expect much luck with it. Maybe it’ll find a place in an anthology someday.

Have you seen those new taller paperbacks? Taller price, too. I’m not sure what the thinking behind those is. Just repackaging, I guess, with the hopes of creating a buzz.

Anybody read any good books lately? If so, tell me about it. I’m mostly caught up on my favorite authors and need to find some fresh blood. I tried to read Even Cowgirls Get The Blues a while back. Didn’t work for me.

My website will have a new look soon. I’ll let you know.

And I’ll close with an un-PC joke from Red O’Brien....

Two terrorists managed to sneak into America. They were sitting at a coffee shop, and one of them began speaking his native language. The other one hushed him and said, “Don’t blow our cover. We need to blend in. Speak Spanish.”

I’m putting the finishing touches on my sixth Blanco County book, Holy Moly, which involves a televangelist. I did a fair amount of research (via the Net), including refreshing my memory on the fiascos involving Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker, and several others.

There’s only one way to say this: Men like Swaggart and Bakker make me puke. In my opinion, they are nothing but con men. They’d have you believe that they are Christians who made mistakes, but I don’t buy any of it. I think they were (and still are) nothing but sleazeball rip-off artists.

Speaking of which, I went to the Benny Hinn website and signed up to receive his mailings (I needed the materials for the book, plus it’s always worth a good laugh when these melodramatic pleas for money arrive). I used a fake name, because, well, why not lie to a scum like that? Anyway, I thought it would be interesting to see what other mail arrived addressed to the fake name I gave.

Got one today, and the envelope informed me that “a box of blessings is reserved for you!”

How exciting for me!

Inside was a solicitation, of course--from the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews. They are asking me for money to feed, clothe, shelter, etc., elderly Jews in the former Soviet Union....

“Imagine being elderly, crippled, and alone--living out your final years in the frigid former Soviet Union in a small, dilapidated home with no heating. Sadly, this is Solomon’s situation as he tries to stretch his paltry pension of just $15 a month...”

Not that there’s anything wrong with giving your money to elderly Soviet Jews, if that’s what you choose to do, but I’m mistrustful of anything that came my way via Benny Hinn. (There is no mention of Hinn in the materials, but there’s no other way to explain how this organization got my “name”.)

So I logged on to Charity Navigator, just to see what they had to say about the IFCJ. Turned out, they give them three out of four stars, which ain’t bad.

But here’s my nitpick: The head honcho at IFCJ, a guy named Rabbi Yechiel Eckstein, gets paid $358,000 a year. That’s nearly 2,000 times as much as poor old Solomon’s annual income.

Come on, Rabbi, share the wealth! In fact, maybe YOU should be sending money to ME, instead of the other way around.